just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
did you just send me my own nude
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
