If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
