dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
