it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize