In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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