apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
