my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
