I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
