I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
