what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
