I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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