i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
