Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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