please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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