I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
ok first of all what the fuck
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
