I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
