So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
