nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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