Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
