moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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