I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
