You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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