why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
sex in a hospital.. check
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
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