You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
They left me at home... I'm a liability
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
