fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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