come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
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i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
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I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
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