You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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