I just threw up on my dentist
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
