remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
