Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize