do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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