So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize