I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
