I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
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So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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