it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Can't talk, ducks in the car
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He has the fingertips of a God
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
