We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
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facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Why can't burritos get me drunk
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I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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