I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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