4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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