Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
