I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
This show inspires me to have sex in space
tequila makes me forget i have legs
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
