How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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