is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
