There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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