Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
