I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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