No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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