I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
