Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
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no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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