I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Found your dick twin last night
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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