Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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