The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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