do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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