just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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