come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
