I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
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Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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