Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
