fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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