did you get engaged???
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
